The Importance of Play in Our Lives
In first year university, I had a sociology professor who specialized in play and leisure. I remember him justifying his choice of specialization to his peers by saying that with the emerging technological developments, people would accomplish the required work quicker and thus have more leisure time. Well, that was in the mid 1980s and we all know how things turned out. Instead of giving us more leisure time, the increase of personal computers, internet connections, cellular phones and the like have resulted in the expectation of 24×7 accessibility and have blurred the lines between work and personal life.
Our high tech life with its accelerated pace has fostered a culture that seems to be always working, always rushed, always connected. With cell phones ringing in movie theatres, laptop computers at the beach, internet connections at every other cafe, and home offices that beckon us all hours of the night and day, it’s hard to separate “play” from “work.” Yet to maintain balance in our lives, and for our ultimate well-being, play is important.
Lenore Terr, a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, and author of Beyond Love and Work: Why Adults Need to Play, argues that play is crucial at every stage of life. In play, we discover pleasure, cultivate feelings of accomplishment, and acquire a sense of belonging. When we play, we learn and mature and find an outlet for stress. “Play is a lost key,” Terr writes. “It unlocks the door to ourselves.”
In his book, The 100 Year Lifestyle, Dr. Eric Plasker, the founder of the Council on Family Wellness for the World Chiropractic Alliance, reminds us that when you are constantly exhausted and stressed, your energy goes toward survival - it goes toward managing the stress inside your body and pushing you through fatigue. However when you live in balance, your energy is free to go directly toward your creativity.
When you are completely involved in play your cares and worries disappear. You feel pleasurably alive and light-hearted. Play time is simply about enjoying your life. You are doing whatever it is that makes you happy and rejuvenates you - reading a good book, frolicking on the beach, going for a walk in the woods, spending time with your life partner, traveling to exotic places, and celebrating life.
In order to ensure you have enough play time in your life, Dr. Plasker recommends scheduling your play first and fitting work in around it. This might seem counter-intuitive to what you have always done. When many of us are in a time crunch, we try to work ourselves out of it and instead we just end up further behind. The way to get out of a pinch is to step away and take play time.
The benefits of play can not be over stated. Play allows you to be present in the moment, brings out your creativity, creates balance, and frees you from the grind and the intensity of work. Play increases your energy, relaxes you, balances out your system, and produces a condition of equilibrium throughout your mind and body. It is often where your next big idea is born.
If you feel like you don’t have enough play time in your life (and who doesn’t), try these suggestions:
Turn-off. Turn off the television, computer, beeper and cell phone for at least two hours a day.
Let your mind wander. Recall what you used to enjoy doing or what you always wanted to do before we became so technology-oriented.
Include others. Invite someone over to play, just like you used to when you were a kid. Nothing planned, nothing structured. Let your play evolve naturally.
Think physical. Go for a walk, ride your bike, rent some skates, break out the croquet set from the basement, go for a swim or a run.
Pretend. Pretend you don’t have any cares or worries. Pretend you have all the time in the world to laugh and play and enjoy. Pretend there is no moment other than this.
Life is not just about work. You deserve to enjoy your life. Have fun and lots of it. Any time you have the choice of whether to work “just one more hour” or give yourself over to play, consider what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.”
I invite you to share your thoughts and perspective on the article. What do you do for fun? How do you use fun to keep balance in your life? To join the discussion, simply leave a comment.
When Affirmations Don’t Work
When the topic of affirmations comes up, I can’t help but think of the Saturday Night Live skits, “Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley.” Smalley (a fictional character invented and performed by satirist Al Franken) was best known for his signature phrase, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone
it, people like me!” If you watched Stuart Smalley’s show you know that his affirmations were not effective for him or others he was trying to help. Now new research helps us understand why.
Through their research, psychologist Joanne Wood of the University of Waterloo and her colleagues found that if a person has poor self-esteem to begin with, and then repeats affirmations such as, “I am a lovable person,” they actually end up feeling worse about themselves.
Why does this occur? Because the positive statement contradicts their current self-image to such a degree that it ends up reinforcing to themselves that they really don’t see themselves as a “lovable person.” However, Wood’s research also showed that people with higher self-esteem do experience an improvement in their moods by repeating affirmations.
So positive self-talk is positive only when the person who’s doing it really believes it. If your pre-existing beliefs contradict the positive self-talk, it appears the beliefs will usually supersede and overrule the self-talk.
So what’s a girl to do? Start with changing your beliefs. Success coach, Heather Dominick-Kosmicki offers the following process for transforming limiting beliefs into positive, more productive ones:
1. Identify a belief that no longer serves you and write it down.
2. List out the feelings you experience when you think about this limiting belief.
3. Write the opposite of the limiting belief. For example, if the belief is: “I can’t make that work. I don’t know enough,” the opposite would sound like: “I can totally do it. I have plenty of personal experience with this.” This allows you to begin to see what is possible… but as we learned from Stuart Smalley, don’t stop there.
4. Find evidence from your life that support the statement you wrote in step 3. Write down any examples that come to mind that help you experience relief. The idea is to connect with a little relief, and even hope, so you are open to the next step.
5. When you feel the relief, write the next-step belief. This belief is one that is a little more positive and feels a bit better than the original belief you wrote in step 1. You want to be able to feel very little or no resistance to this new belief.
6. Next, imagine what it would feel like inside and look like outside as you live from this new belief. List the feelings, thoughts, actions, and experiences that would show up in your life once you fully adopt the belief.
7. Now that you know what to look for, list the evidence! Every day take note of what has actually shown up (on the inside and outside) that matches or supports the items on your list from step 6. By recording what you’re experiencing, you reinforce the new belief in your belief system.
This is where we take the age-old advice, “rinse and repeat.” Once the new belief becomes comfortable, go through the 7-step process again and create another next-step belief that incorporates an even more positive statement. In this way you are able to transform limiting beliefs into empowering ones without being stymied by your mind reacting to an extreme contradiction.
I invite you to share your thoughts and perspective on the article. Have you been successful in transforming limiting beliefs? How did you do it? To join the discussion, simply leave a comment.
Legacy: What Are You Leaving Behind?
For many of us, when we hear the word “legacy” we think of people like JD Rockefeller, Mohandas Gandhi, even Rosa Parks. Someone who’s major accomplishments or courageous actions impacted the world in historic ways.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Who am I to leave a legacy? I’m just trying to get through another day at work while paying my bills and caring for my family and friends.” You’re not trying to change the world – just navigate through it the best you can.
But legacies aren’t just for the leading characters in social studies text books. In fact, you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re not leaving a legacy.
Everything you do touches the lives of other people. All of your actions make a difference somehow. The way you live, the way you love, the work you do all have an effect that reaches beyond the particulars of your day-to-day living. Whether you choose a legacy or not, you are creating a one, moment by moment.
Types of Legacies
Since you are leaving a legacy anyways, consider choosing one consciously. Your legacy might include a combination of some of the following:
• A business or non-profit organization that carries on your work after you’re gone.
• Beauty, inspiration and wisdom passed on through creations such as books, music, and art.
• Money, goods, and property, including endowing scholarships or creating a foundation.
• A beautiful garden that preserves a piece of nature and offers a retreat for the weary.
• The “ripple effect” of your daily impact on friends, family and your community.
• The values you impart to children and grandchildren.
Components of Legacy-Building
To consciously build a legacy, consider the following steps:
Begin with the end in mind. In order to leave a legacy that you deem to be of the highest value, you must first see it in your mind’s eye. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey says it’s imperative to begin with a clear vision of your destination. He recommends developing a “personal mission statement.” Based on your core values or principles, the statement focuses on what you want to be and what you want to contribute or achieve.
Clarify your values. With a coach or on your own, explore your values. What do you cherish most deeply? This is not about “morals” imposed from outside, but reflects what you believe at your core is of greatest importance. You legacy will be strong statement about your values. Be sure it’s an accurate reflection.
Determine your arena of impact. Decide where and how do you want to make a positive difference in the world. To clarify your desired impact, ask yourself:
1. Who do I want to impact? What people or community?
2. What gifts do I have to share?
3. What is the best vehicle for sharing my gifts?
4. In what way do I want to contribute to others’ wellbeing?
Start planning. Now that you know where you’re going, it’s time to start mapping out the route to get there. Remember that, while concrete action plans are important, you build your legacy every day with your choices, actions and words. Live your life authentically and you will be building your legacy brick by brick.
To create a formal action plan, consider these questions:
1. What’s my next step to go from where I am now to where I want to be?
2. Who can help me reach my goals? Who do I want on my dream team?
3. How can my impact be sustained after I’m gone?
Now you are on the road to leaving a legacy you can be proud of. One that will leave the planet a little better off for you having been here. Well done!
I invite you to share your thoughts and perspective on the article. What will your legacy be? How are you creating it day-by-day? To join the discussion, simply leave a comment.
Starting Your New Career With Your Own Online Business
Ever since I began working online, I’ve been amazed by the talent and generosity of so many people. There are countless wonderful examples of people who play to their strengths (check out my blog post, “Playing to Your Strengths” to see why that’s important) and then they generously share those strengths with others. Today, I get to share an excellent example of exactly that.
Last week I received an email from my friend, Scot Ricker. He has written a great ebook, “Starting Your New Career With Your Own Online Business,” and he’s giving it away at no charge. Even better… he’s letting me give it away to you!
So many people are expressing their life purpose and building the life of their dreams through their own business. If you are considering this, check out Scot’s book. It’s jam-packed with start-up information, including the basics on mindset and important details about how you can get started in your own business right away!
Grab it here: Starting Your New Career With Your Own Online Business
I don’t know how long he’ll be giving this away so download a copy of it today. It really has so much valuable information in it that he could easily sell it as a stand alone product. But that’s just the way he is… committed to getting valuable information into the hands of people who need it. Get yours now, before he changes his mind and decides to start selling it, which he easily could for $47.00!
Once you read it, come back and tell me what you think. I know I was impressed. Enjoy!
Play to Your Strengths
When you think about planning your personal development for the coming year, what are the first skills you think about developing? If you’re like most people, you think about your weak skills. From an early age, we have been programmed to focus our attention on overcoming our weaknesses.
There has been an unwritten code of expectation that we need to be good at everything – and great at some things. Clearly this is an unreasonable expectation. And over the last several years, personal development theory has begun to recognize that fact.
In their groundbreaking book, Now, Discover Your Strengths, authors Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton say that across all ages and cultures, people are more concerned about their weaknesses than their strengths. We believe that our weaknesses matter more in holding us back than our strengths matter in advancing us.
Buckingham and Clifton disagree with that commonly held belief. In their provocative theory, they suggest that the better strategy is to play to your strengths, building upon your core talents, and work around your weaknesses. You can work to add skills and knowledge to increase your performance in any area, but unless you are building upon one of your innate talents, your efforts won’t produce exceptional results—some results, yes, but not dramatic improvement.
“Unless you have the necessary talent, your improvements will be modest,” write Buckingham and Clifton. “You will be diverting most of your energy toward damage control and very little toward real development.”
They do agree that there is a need to minimize some of your weaknesses—specifically those areas where your lack of talent actually get in the way of your performance.
“Managing Around” a Weakness
Instead of trying to overcome your weaknesses by brute force—and at the expense of diverting that energy away from growing your strengths—they offer five strategies for what they call “managing around” a weakness:
Get a little better at it. In some cases, your weakness is only moderately impeding your peak performance in other areas. While it may never contribute to your success, by improving the weakness a little, it may no longer be an active detriment.
Develop a support system. This is the proverbial string tied around the finger to remind you of something. If you can automate or systematize the tasks you underperform at, you can side step any harm the weakness could potentially cause.
Study your prospects. Most tasks can be approached from different angels. When you know your strengths, you can tackle tasks that are in your areas of weakness from the perspective of your strength. For example, if your skills tend toward the analytical and you are facing a task that requires strong people skills, start by analyzing the best way to connect with the people’s interests and map out a systematic way to address them.
Find a partner. This may be the best approach for small business people and “solo” practitioners. Go into partnership discussions with a clear-eyed understanding of the strengths you bring, and the strengths you need from your partner. Don’t be shy about your strengths—the whole point of this is to create a world in which you get to do what you are really good at. And be open-minded about what a partnership looks like. For some solo practitioners, a virtual assistant or a marketing consultant could be all the partnering you need.
Just (Don’t) Do It. The last option, say Buckingham and Clifton, is just don’t do the things you are weak at. In a corporate setting you might get away with this, particularly if you are a high-performer in the areas of your strengths. If you’re a small business owner and your organizational chart tends to have “me” written in most every box, not doing something may not seem like much of a choice. But keep it as a goal and continue to work toward the day when you can contribute to your business exclusively from the place of your highest strengths.
Remember, the point is to capitalize on and continue to build your strengths while minimizing the impact of your weaknesses. Here’s to your growing success!
I invite you to share your thoughts and perspective on this article. What are your strengths? How do you manage your weaknesses? To join the discussion, simply leave a comment.
Kim and Vito Share their Mojo
Ever wonder how the big named conglomerates get their brand? Ever wonder how the Fortune 500’s got their success? Think that you could never run in the same circles as Disney, General Motors, or Wolfgang Puck?
Think again…
My good friend and colleague Kim Castle, co-creator of BrandU has not only worked with these guys, but they were her clients. While Kim is known for helping thousands of clients and entrepreneurs around the world translate their business ideas into marketable money-making brands, as well as working with the “big Kahunas” —she’s got some pretty amazing information to share that I think will shock you.
Don’t worry you’ll be pleasantly shocked.
You may already know BrandU and you may have witnessed the insane growth of BrandU right before your eyes. Their business skyrocketed within only a few short years and their revenues continue to grow. You might assume it’s because they have worked with huge named companies like IBM, m&m’s and Domino’s Pizza. But actually it has nothing to do the roster of influential big brands. It’s something else, and guess what? It’s not such a mystery.
But it is a secret that Kim has been holding in her back pocket… until now…
Join Kim Castle and her partner Vito Montone of BrandU for a special free call on:
Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 5PM PST
The 7 Secrets Behind Today’s Top-earning Brands: Why Some Businesses Are Still Thriving in Today’s Economy and How Yours Can Too
Sign up now: The 7 Secrets Behind Today’s Top-earning Brands
On June 16th, Kim and Vito will reveal the secrets they used to manifest their continual business growth, which has allowed them to live the life of their dreams in Southern California, network with influential people who share their vision, have amazing opportunities fall in their lap, and most importantly, live their life’s passion of helping entrepreneurs grow their businesses.
I hope you are paying attention when I tell you that what they have learned and have proven, over and over, during the past few years is that there is indeed a much easier way to create big business success—just like the “big Kahunas.”
Are you ready to find out how? Join them Tuesday, June 16th for free:
The 7 Secrets Behind Today’s Top-earning Brands:
Why Some Businesses Are Still Thriving in Today’s Economy and How Yours Can Too
Tuesday, June 16, 2009 5PM PST (6PM MT, 7PM CT, 8PM ET)
Register for this free call today to save your spot: The 7 Secrets Behind Today’s Top-earning Brands
Don’t miss out on joining Kim and Vito of BrandU on this call. You won’t believe the business and life-changing information you’ll walk away with. Get your seat now.
Make Time For Wellness
If you’re like me, health and wellness is one of your main goals right now. For many of us, part of that wellness goal includes weight loss. Two of the gems I finally found (after years of struggling) are 1) goals (yes, even wellness goals) required dedicated time and focus, and 2) don’t underestimate the value of seeking out professional support and advice. So today I want to introduce you to a great resource I found recently…
I’m excited to introduce you to my friend, Dr. Barnet Meltzer, M.D., so you can experience for yourself the life-changing program that’s helped thousands of people lose their excess weight, keep it off, and never look back. In his new book, The Best Kept Secret to Permanent Weight Loss, Dr. Meltzer demystifies the weight loss process and explains that losing weight and keeping it off doesn’t have to be a struggle - you just need to know the secret.
In this definitive guide to achieving long-term weight loss results, Dr. Meltzer expands well beyond the conventional path of quick fix diets and temporary weight-loss solutions, and brings you a fresh and invigorating perspective on what it takes to lose weight permanently.
Dr. Meltzer is a well-known expert in the field of Preventive Medicine, Integrative Medicine, and Clinical Nutrition. In The Best Kept Secret to Permanent Weight Loss, he takes 40 years of clinical experience and the secret behind thousands of weight-loss success stories, and puts it together in a simple to follow, step-by-step permanent weight loss plan. His self-empowering program has helped men and women of all ages outsmart the cycle of weight loss and weight gain - and it can work for you!
What is it that distinguishes Dr. Meltzer’s program from the majority of other diets and weight-loss plans? The trademark of his time honored program is that it works for the long-term and provides lasting results. Dr. Meltzer explains that most weight loss programs only offer temporary results because they do not focus on your metabolism, nor do they address the emotional and behavioral issues that lead to overeating, excess weight, and obesity. Dr. Meltzer’s program fully addresses the two root causes of weight gain - metabolic dysfunction and emotional overeating - and explores how the extraordinary advances that have been made in metabolic nutrition can change the way we live.
In this highly anticipated book, he invites you into a whole new world of reliable weight-loss strategies that will help you outfox the most common obstacles that stand in the way of your permanent weight loss goals.
Are you ready to take the struggle, the stress, and the strain out of losing weight? Let me assure you that there’s a way to work smarter, rather than harder, in achieving your weight-loss goals. To discover the secret for yourself - and finally say goodbye to calorie counting, yo-yo dieting, and those extra pounds - click here!
Buy TODAY and Get These Great Gifts - www.maketimeforwellness.com/promo
Making a small investment in this life-changing book may be the best gift you could ever give yourself when it comes to your happiness and health.
But if you purchase this book TODAY, you’ll also gain access to thousands of dollars of promotional gifts from Dr. Meltzer and many other well-known experts and bestselling authors that are supporting his wellness cause.
Click here for The Best Kept Secret to Permanent Weight Loss and take advantage of this unique opportunity! www.maketimeforwellness.com/promo
Here’s to your health.
Coaches, special invitation to a Q&A call just for you!
You know that persistent, burning desire to make a difference in the lives of other people? To help them thrive in this economy? To be happier and healthier? To live life more on purpose?
So do Eva Gregory and Mary Allen. That is why they felt compelled to host a special call this **Thursday, June 4th at 1pm PT (4pm ET).**
This isn’t going to be like the other calls they’ve hosted before. You may have heard them share their stories of going beyond six figures by launching and leading group coaching programs.
This call is focused 100% on you and your questions.
They’ll spend a few minutes discussing:
* How to create a thriving coaching business in these challenging economic times. (THESE are the times individuals want and need coaching and support the most!)
* Learn why the timing couldn’t be more perfect for launching and leading group coaching programs that:
a) allows those who need coaching to receive support at a price point they can easily afford.
b) provides coaches with a way to make a bigger impact on more people…
c) while creating even higher income for themselves.
Win/Win/Win
They’ll spend about 15-20 minutes addressing these points, then they’ll open the call up for YOUR questions about anything relating to their Beyond Six Figures for Coaches certification program, attracting qualified participants, and running successful group coaching programs.
Eva and Mary are here to serve you.
To register for this free call go to: http://tinyurl.com/nayhoy
Eva and Mary look forward to “seeing you” on the call.
Be sure to take your questions!
