The Importance of Play in Our Lives
In first year university, I had a sociology professor who specialized in play and leisure. I remember him justifying his choice of specialization to his peers by saying that with the emerging technological developments, people would accomplish the required work quicker and thus have more leisure time. Well, that was in the mid 1980s and we all know how things turned out. Instead of giving us more leisure time, the increase of personal computers, internet connections, cellular phones and the like have resulted in the expectation of 24×7 accessibility and have blurred the lines between work and personal life.
Our high tech life with its accelerated pace has fostered a culture that seems to be always working, always rushed, always connected. With cell phones ringing in movie theatres, laptop computers at the beach, internet connections at every other cafe, and home offices that beckon us all hours of the night and day, it’s hard to separate “play” from “work.” Yet to maintain balance in our lives, and for our ultimate well-being, play is important.
Lenore Terr, a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, and author of Beyond Love and Work: Why Adults Need to Play, argues that play is crucial at every stage of life. In play, we discover pleasure, cultivate feelings of accomplishment, and acquire a sense of belonging. When we play, we learn and mature and find an outlet for stress. “Play is a lost key,” Terr writes. “It unlocks the door to ourselves.”
In his book, The 100 Year Lifestyle, Dr. Eric Plasker, the founder of the Council on Family Wellness for the World Chiropractic Alliance, reminds us that when you are constantly exhausted and stressed, your energy goes toward survival - it goes toward managing the stress inside your body and pushing you through fatigue. However when you live in balance, your energy is free to go directly toward your creativity.
When you are completely involved in play your cares and worries disappear. You feel pleasurably alive and light-hearted. Play time is simply about enjoying your life. You are doing whatever it is that makes you happy and rejuvenates you - reading a good book, frolicking on the beach, going for a walk in the woods, spending time with your life partner, traveling to exotic places, and celebrating life.
In order to ensure you have enough play time in your life, Dr. Plasker recommends scheduling your play first and fitting work in around it. This might seem counter-intuitive to what you have always done. When many of us are in a time crunch, we try to work ourselves out of it and instead we just end up further behind. The way to get out of a pinch is to step away and take play time.
The benefits of play can not be over stated. Play allows you to be present in the moment, brings out your creativity, creates balance, and frees you from the grind and the intensity of work. Play increases your energy, relaxes you, balances out your system, and produces a condition of equilibrium throughout your mind and body. It is often where your next big idea is born.
If you feel like you don’t have enough play time in your life (and who doesn’t), try these suggestions:
Turn-off. Turn off the television, computer, beeper and cell phone for at least two hours a day.
Let your mind wander. Recall what you used to enjoy doing or what you always wanted to do before we became so technology-oriented.
Include others. Invite someone over to play, just like you used to when you were a kid. Nothing planned, nothing structured. Let your play evolve naturally.
Think physical. Go for a walk, ride your bike, rent some skates, break out the croquet set from the basement, go for a swim or a run.
Pretend. Pretend you don’t have any cares or worries. Pretend you have all the time in the world to laugh and play and enjoy. Pretend there is no moment other than this.
Life is not just about work. You deserve to enjoy your life. Have fun and lots of it. Any time you have the choice of whether to work “just one more hour” or give yourself over to play, consider what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.”
I invite you to share your thoughts and perspective on the article. What do you do for fun? How do you use fun to keep balance in your life? To join the discussion, simply leave a comment.
Curiosity – A Vital Ingredient in Life
When I was a young child I was hospitalized for a short period of time. One day during my hospital stay, my Mom and sister came to visit me bearing a gift. It was a Curious George stuffed animal. “Georgie” became my constant companion and trusted confidante. Little did I know, he would become the perfect symbol for how I lived my life.
To some degree, curiosity has been given a bad rap. You may have grown up being told that asking too many questions was rude or expressed ignorance. If you read any of his books, you know the trouble Curious George got into due to his curiosity. You might even have been warned that “Curiosity killed the cat!”
But I didn’t believe any of that. To me, curiosity is as natural as breathing and necessary to a fulfilling life. The truth is that curiosity is one of the most vital and life-affirming qualities you can bring to your work and your relationships.
Be Curious, Not Furious
It’s so easy to play the blame game when things go wrong. Instead of reacting with anger or frustration, consider being curious about the situation. For example, instead of beating yourself up or blaming someone else for not reaching a set goal—again—try asking yourself, what contributed to the outcome. What is going on for you (or them) that resulted in the subpar performance? With an attitude of, “How fascinating that I’ve created this! I wonder why,” you are much more likely to find new solutions to attaining your goals.
Curiosity in Life
Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all!” When you cultivate an attitude of curiosity, doors open and adventures begin; questions lead to new possibilities. For example, asking yourself, “What do I want to learn now?” can set you on a journey of exciting exploration that moves you forward. If, instead, you come from the place of “I already know what I need to know,” you shut off the possibility of discovering something new that could rock your world.
Curiosity in Relationships
How often we assume we know what someone else is thinking or experiencing. What if we came from a place of not knowing and offered others an invitation to speak? According to Sharon Ellison, creator of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, “A non-defensive question is innocently curious, reflecting the purity of the child who asks how a flower grows or what makes an airplane fly.” We invite others to share their true experience when we ask questions without hidden agendas and to clarify understanding.
Cultivating Curiosity
Here are some ways to cultivate a more curious life.
Questions. Practice asking questions with openness and neutrality. Practice with strangers in stores and with people close to you. Stop thinking you know all the answers…be open to being surprised!
Inquiries. An inquiry is an open-ended question designed to broaden your perspective. For example: “What would make life a daring adventure for me?” “Where in my life do I assume I already know everything I need to know?” “What is another way of interpreting this situation?”
Assumptions. These impact how we treat strangers as well as loved ones. Challenge your assumptions by asking, “What if that’s not true?” Be open to seeing the world in new ways and build your understanding of other people’s perspectives. Remember there are many ways to see everything.
If you truly want to expand your excitement, joy and fulfillment in life and relationship, sprinkle liberal doses of curiosity and watch your life become the fabulous adventure it can be!
I invite you to leave a comment with answers to the following questions: How do you use curiosity in your life? What are you curious about?
